


Freak

by ssa_archivist



Series: Denial Series [2]
Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-10
Updated: 2003-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark is a freak.  (Companion piece to Denial.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freak

## Freak

by SkaterBoy

[]()

* * *

Author's Note: This is Clark's internal dialogue. Assume the same universe as Denial. 

* * *

You're a freak, Clark. You know it. Even before you knew about your powers you were different. No convenient label like everyone else had - jock, nerd, popular. Never popular. Who were your friends, Clark? Chloe and Pete. Chloe, at least, is an intellectual and almost popular, and Pete's a jock and almost popular, if not almost as popular as Chloe. 

Let's talk about Chloe. Did you think it was just friendship that kept her hanging around for so long? But no, you were too busy mooning over Lana to notice the way Chloe followed you around like a lovesick puppy. But you didn't really care. You just chased Lana, and when it was clear she wasn't going to break up with Whitney, you decided to give Chloe a test run. You _used_ her, Clark. Tried to like her, _that_ way, but it didn't work, did it? You ran out on her at the spring formal because of Lana. 

_But I had to save her. I couldn't let her die._

No, Clark, no one's saying you could. The point is that you hurt Chloe because you're _selfish_. Is this getting through to you? You ignore her now. When she tries to hurt you by mentioning Lana you brush it off. You don't even bother sitting her down for a _serious_ talk so she knows where she stands with you. You lead her on, Clark. 

Then there's Pete. How does it feel, Clark, knowing that wussy little Pete plays football and you couldn't because your _father_ wouldn't let you. He didn't even tell you why, did he? Just refused to let you play football even though it's the only thing you thought would make you feel normal. 

You thought you might be normal, before. Before Lex and before a speeding car and a bridge. He hit you. You should be _dead_ but you didn't even have time to process that because you had to save his life, too. He didn't have any air left so you had to give him mouth-to-mouth. The first person whose lips you ever touched with your own was Lex Luthor. A man who just almost killed you with his fancy overpriced car, who was probably trying to kill himself by driving off that bridge, someone with a lot of money and even more issues. A _man_ , Clark, you were _saving his life_ but you liked it, didn't you? 

That's when you knew for sure you weren't normal. You weren't dead, which was pretty good, but also confusing because you should be. So many times you should've been dead. Not to mention that you wanted to kiss Lex again, except for sake of the kiss. So now you're not only not human, you're not straight either. _But it's not like that! Lex and I are just friends!_ If you have to lie to yourself, Clark, that's just fine, but that's all it is. A lie. Because you want Lex to be more than a friend, don't you. _Don't you_? 

You're a _freak_. 


End file.
